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by Ron Cruger
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What would old Ned say?
Old Ned lives up the street. He’s seventy five years old. Ned and I get together once a
month or so. We sit on rocking chairs on his front porch and discuss things. Mostly I listen to what Ned has to say. He’s lived a
long time and his thinking is adroit and insightful.
Here’s what Ned has to say about some
present-day events in our country and the world:
-“Her parents ought to take that young girl, Miley Cyrus, and give her a good spanking.
She’s just a skinny little girl that should be home, going to school and learning something instead of walking around taking her clothes
-“If we go in and bomb a few places in Syria I don’t know what good it’ll do. My bet is the Syrian government will just claim
that America killed some women and children and we’ll look like ugly aggressors.”
-“We’re turning into a nation of people on welfare.
Pretty soon it’ll be half the people are working and supporting the other half who don’t. How long can that last?”
thing is disgusting. Do our children have so much time on their hands that this is the best thing they can come up with? It isn’t
attractive and looks like some kind of neurological disorder.”
-“If professional athletes are penalized for using drugs because they
increase their performances maybe they shouldn’t be permitted to lift weights, pray or take aspirin because those things might help
them to perform better too.”
-“What happened to the movies and television? A few years ago seeing a man and a woman in bed together
was banned. Now, it seems that every movie and most reality TV shows feature every dirty word ever invented and enough sex scenes
to embarrass anyone.”
-“What made some of our great presidents great was their ability to persuade. Lincoln, Truman, Roosevelt, Reagan,
Clinton. They persuaded fellow politicians and they persuaded us. Let’s have some healthy, strong persuasion coming out of the White
-“How can the U.S. lower its unemployment numbers when the places that millions of these unemployed people can work are in
factories and now the factories are mostly overseas.”
-“Isn’t paying a ballplayer like Alex Rodriquez $28 million dollars a year a
bit silly? He gets paid somewhere around $56,000 every time he comes to bat. No matter if he strikes out or hits a homer (and he doesn’t
hit many homers anymore).
With salaries like that no wonder the average family can’t afford to attend a major league game anymore.”
-“Barack Obama will go down in history as our most cautious and careful president, at least he is so far.”
-“Doesn’t it frighten parents
to see their children idolize those rap stars? The ones with diamonds in their teeth, baggy pants, and reciting (they don’t sing)
bad poems that feature slapping women around and doing drugs.”
-“Ever notice how high school girls dress to attend school now? So
many of them have the ‘Miley Cyrus Syndrome.”
These are just some of old Ned’s thoughts
on current topics. I look forward to sitting down with him again in a few weeks.