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The Spectator
founded 2004 by ron cruger
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by Ron Cruger
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2014 Spectator Ron - The Spectator All Rights Reserved
C
Hallow Mr. Krugger,
         
         My name is Woofinda, I am a resident of El Gippo City in Zimbabwe. I work for the Zimpabwayan government in or capital city of Rippoph. I received your name from our vice president for finance, Mr. Les Bilkem.
         
        We have $27,300,000.00 in Zimbabwayan funds which is approximately $4.97 in American dollis. If you would trust me enough to mail me, in an unmarked box $52,978.00 in single one dollar American dollis I can guarantee you the full $27,300,000.00 in Zimbabwayan dollis, which are called Gonnadds in our country.
         
        Please keep this deal confidential as we donít want to share the money with anyone else.
         
        This is a very good deal, Mr. Krugger, and I can guarantee that you will be happy. But you must keep all of this confidential or the leader of our country, His Regal Highness Hussein Pisstoffa Lunitooni could arrest me and cut off my abdulos and stuff them down my throat. Most unpleasant thoughts.
         
         I hope that you will hurry with your part of this great bargain. We are holding the $27,300,000.00 in a special place in our capital city, Rippoph. A guy name ZaZaboo is guarding the money for us in his shack. ZaZaboo is very trustworthy and a very fierce fighter. He suffers from severe constipation and gets very mean when he is upset or constipated.
        
         We look forward to concluding this arrangement with you, Mr. Krugger. If you have any questions please donít contact me or anyone else, just think about it.
        
         My wife, the beautiful Armadingo Bathsheeba Simone Braca Jones also thanks you.
         
Thank you, Mr. Krugger, praise be to Alan, 
  ZaZaboo and Paula Abdul.
 
 
Sincerely,
Woofinda
Vice Council and
Screen Door Repair
Vice President
 
P.S.
If you want a new jacket or a coat I can get you some goat or camel skins . Let me know and I will wash a couple down for you. I would like you as a friend as I have no friends now because they say I smell bad. I would like to come live in your house for two years. Thank you.