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Victimhood:
The Spectator
founded 2004 by ron cruger
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 by Jon Burras
surfyogi@verizon.net
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C
The Most Significant Virus of Our Time

     Imagine waking up to a dark and dreary world where half the population has been ravaged by a deadly disease. There is chaos and confusion in every corner of existence. One does not know who to trust and who has the disease and who does not. There is a fragility wavering over society as politeness and community seem to be shattered by hostility and fear.

    You are boldly mistaken if you thought that I am speaking of the Middle Ages where half the population of Europe was wiped out by a virus called "The Plague." During that harsh part of history death was on every doorstep and insecurity lingered with each day. The virus had invaded every household and darkness loomed throughout. Civility and kindness were replaced with suspicion and deceit.

    No, I am not speaking of the Middle Ages and the virus called the Plague. The greatest virus of all time is affecting us this very day and in record numbers. You are seriously mistaken if you equate this health crisis with the current Covid-19 pandemic. While the death, financial destruction, and mental anguish that Covid-19 has caused is immense, it does not even come close to the damage created by the most prevalent virus of our time called "Victimhood".

     Victimhood runs rampant throughout our culture and many other cultures like a virus without a cure. It is easily spread from family member to family member and from generation to generation. It fills our schools, government offices, charities, businesses and sporting institutions. It is as elusive as trying to track down the origin of yellow mold hiding behind the walls of a darkened bathroom. Victimhood seems to fill in every crack of society like weeds engulfing a dilapidated and forgotten amusement park. Victimhood creeps across society like a thick fog bank nestling into a deep valley. It settles in where you least expect it.

     Victimhood is a rather addictive state of consciousness where you see the world where nothing is ever your fault. You do not hold yourself or fellow victims accountable for any actions. Sabotage and failure are common themes for those who have the virus of Victimhood. The Victimhood addiction becomes all consuming and a normal way to lead one's life. Anything different would be like trying to breathe underwater for hours on end like a fish with gills. It would be foreign, odd and unfamiliar to not live from your victim way of seeing things. For those carrying the Victimhood virus the only thing they know is how to be a victim. Accountability and being responsible for one's own actions is like a foreign language to them.

     One of the chief symptoms of the Victimhood virus is to be enshrouded in blame. Nothing is ever your fault. You are never to blame for any of the poor choices that you are making. For instance, a young man besieged with the Victimhood virus might commit a crime like car jacking. After being chased by the police and crashing the car this individual might claim that he is not responsible for paying for the damages to the car. In his mind, if the police were not chasing him then none of this would ever have happened. All of this is the fault of the police. A group of people carrying the Victimhood virus can set up a collection fund to bail people out of jail who have committed crimes. These victims who donate this money would not want the criminal behavior to be held accountable.

     An alcoholic with liver failure believes that he is not responsible for the failure of his liver. Alcohol made him drink in the first place and personal choice had nothing to do with it. A young man might choose to drop out of high school and continues to blame society because he cannot get a good job. This is Victimhood in its fullest. Blame is the central theme around this disease and becomes the centerpiece of its symptoms.

     Those inflicted with the Victimhood virus are all around us all the time and well-infused into society. You might find a yoga instructor, librarian, school teacher, city council member or politician who has been carrying the disease. Members of your own family might be infected with the Victimhood virus as well as your neighbors and entire community. This disease spreads easily wide and far and goes unchecked in most cases.

     Victimhood transgresses across religions, ethnicities, genders, and monetary levels. It does not matter what your financial means might be, this insidious virus of Victimhood can affect wealthy people as well as poor people. The middle class is just as vulnerable as the ruling class. It can be as infectious as Covid-19, smallpox or malaria.

    The virus of Victimhood most often begins in the home at an early age. When you have poor parenting or the absence of a parent altogether a child never learns the lessons of accountability and has a greater risk of developing the virus of Victimhood. A good parent in the home will teach a child that there are consequences to his actions. If he does good deeds he is rewarded. If he sabotages his life or makes poor decisions he is denied rewards or is punished altogether. These are simple life lessons. A household without proper parenting will not hold a child accountable for his actions or will even reward him for his sabotage behavior.

    This behavior then spills out into culture as a whole. School districts who embrace the Victimhood virus will fail to hold their students accountable. A child can fail his grades and he is still passed onto the next grade. High school students will graduate with the ability to do math and read at a third grade level but will still receive their diploma. A child acting out in class will not be punished and instead the disciplinarians will come under scrutiny. A child who refused to do his homework will not be reprimanded. These are kids who are not held accountable and do not have proper boundaries placed on them.

     This Victimhood virus continues on into other aspects of society. In sports, children who fail will be rewarded. This has come to be known as the "participation trophy". Adults who themselves are victims do not want their young children to feel the sorrow of losing so they award everyone with a trophy. Children are taught that failure is rewarded and they do not have to try the next time because they will still be told that they are special and the awards will keep coming.

     A child will run to a parent claiming that another kid "hurt his feelings" by saying something unkind. The other kid is now punished. This Victimhood virus behavior exemplifies a deeper schism in society. We are taught that we are not responsible for our own feelings and that others who do something or say something are now the villain. 

      What happens is that we become a society of "whiners". Somebody else's symbols that makes them proud now becomes your scapegoat for your inability to own your own feelings. For instance, a flag, statue, article of clothing or hair style makes you feel uncomfortable. Thus the other person or group must change or remove it. Victims are really good at pointing their fingers at others. What they do not realize is that as their pointed index finger is shooting blame onto others they have nine fingers pointing back at them. They continue to blame another's symbols for their own unprocessed emotions.

    Victims will legitimize illegal activity by making the law wrong. If too many people are committing a crime then victims believe that the law must be wrong. A victim has a hard time believing in the rule of law. Instead they believe that criminals should be given as much leeway as possible because it is not their fault they are committing crimes. This attitude is similar to the 1070's comedian Soupy Sales who was famous for saying "The Devil Made Me Do It."

     Those stricken with the Victimhood virus do not need facts, data, or truth as they will make up their own facts and will robustly stick to them without waiver. They will not seek out differing opinions that might challenge them as they do not want to be challenged or are not necessarily seeking the truth—only to feel righteous. They will seldom  admit to making a mistake and always try to make others wrong.

     Victims are so insecure they will seek to dominate non-victims in many ways. Victims will demand that others not like them beg for mercy for thinking differently, voting differently, donating money to "the other" political party or even for having the wrong skin color. Victims will create their own "lynching parties" as they attempt to wipe out anyone who is not in their vigilante tribe.

    A victim will do anything in their power to make you think that there is something wrong with you (remember those nine unconscious fingers pointing back at them). They will call you "cultish", "uninformed", "uneducated" or "deranged". They have an arsenal of names and labels to place on you because you believe in accountability. Their propaganda campaign is found with politicians, media members and specific media outlets founded on the Victimhood virus. They will never examine their own beliefs but will continue to hunt you down for your beliefs.

     A victim uses lawsuits to cover up their own mistakes. He might slip on a banana peel, wet spot or a remote shadow in a store and seek out a victim lawyer to try to capitalize on his own failure. Spilling hot coffee on himself in a coffee shop is sure to bring a lawsuit as will many other self-sabotaging behaviors. There are plenty of lawyers with the Victimhood virus who would gladly take his case.

     A victim believes that his opinion is the only one that matters. Anything else is seen as evil or some satanic ritual and demonized.

Victims naturally assume that their point of view is the only point of view and that they are so detached they actually believe that everyone else thinks like them. If you differ in your point of view or offer another point of view that holds people accountable for their words and actions then you are considered alien and have a screw loose. You are considered "public enemy number one" and must be cancelled and eliminated.

    You can often see a victim coming from a mile away. They are the ones who wear their complaints on their t-shirts or in their hair style. They march toward you with an agenda of conquering and defeating you. Victory for them means submission for you.

    Victims find it difficult to be critical thinkers and do not see cause and effect. They are the ones who have a pet rattlesnake collection in their bedroom and when they are bitten and hospitalized while nearly dying they blame the snake for the problem. It is not their fault. They cannot piece together much information and remain immobilized in their twisted emotional reality. They will tend to shame people who do not think like them while trying to make others wrong. They will always try to control the narrative either by force, manipulation or coercion.

      Victims rally together to form clubs and institutions. Victims head political parties, unions, law firms and churches. They form activists movements, social reform campaigns and are the leaders of mob activity. They will troll on social media for someone to blame and shame. Their lives are spent looking for excuses and for ways to complain. Entire political parties and social movements are founded on the virus of Victimhood. Victims place other victims on pedestals and call them "heroes".

     Those inflicted with the Victimhood virus become bullies where they will not allow others to speak freely. They will deny free speech to others if those others disagree with them. They have a host of shaming tactics like yelling, labeling and humiliating those who will challenge their rhetoric. They are not immune to using physical violence or assault to stay on top. A victim is as difficult to reason with as a pit bull chasing a mail carrier.

     A person carrying the Victimhood virus resorts to all sorts of harsh strategies to prevent criticism and just to stay on top. Besides bullying, they also use manipulation, boycotts, harassment and even violence to silence their critics. Victims believe that if they can boycott the opposition they will silence them because they so fear dissenting opinions. When the standard strategies do not work they resort to harassment and violence. This aggressive behavior is because of their inner fear of losing and having to face defeat. They were always told that they were special and their actions attempt to keep this mythology going by silencing those who are saying something different.

     Victims will often use loopholes in laws to stay in power. They do not seek truth or justice, only revenge and control. "Unity" means doing things their way. "Justice" is another word for revenge.

     The way a victim usually tries to solve a problem is by throwing more money at it. Instead of getting to the root of an issue a victim will cover it up with mountains of payoffs. A victim would rather keep giving fish to someone in need rather than teach them how to fish. This keeps the victim in an altruist place. A victim needs others to depend on them.

     Victims come from a place called "woundology" where they continue to tell themselves misplaced internal stories where they were hurt or wounded in the past. They might keep reliving the inner story about how their family grew up poor and there is no way to ever get out of poverty because giant corporate America is somehow blocking them (even though many people who grew up poor learn to escape from poverty). Their inner story might be that a certain group of people (teachers, police officers, politicians etc.) are holding them down and keeping them from getting ahead.

     These internal dialogs are like fertilizer for the Victimhood virus to continue to grow and expand. Victims continue to project outward their own internal conflicts on a daily basis. They become angry and attack when challenged and are unable to accept anything different than what they want to believe. They surround themselves with others with the same Victimhood virus as this insulates them from having to face another reality.

     When victims feel like they are losing they will change the rules. This is like when playing a game and feeling imminent loss so they take their ball and go home. They try to change the law in their favor whenever they feel like they are not getting their way. When they are in power they approve of a law. When they are not in power they now criticize the same law and try to change it.

     Victims infiltrate into the vastness of society. You will find them living in convents, book clubs, corporate board rooms, charities, and on college campuses. Professional athletes are a prime proven ground for victims to hang out as are college professors. Many of the popular political movements of our time are organized by victims and most of the members are victims. Victims become members of editorial boards in major newspapers and reign their victim parade down on their readers. Victims are commonly found serving as judges and work in the legal field shielding other victims from accountability. Victims are often found hiding out in the most unlikely of places well hidden in society.

     A victim might be disguised in a professional uniform. They could be a priest, minister, therapist, accountant, social worker or charity worker. A celebrity or sports announcer could be carrying the Victimhood virus along with a "mommy blogger" or a school counselor. A best-selling author in the New Age genre might be infected with the Victimhood virus. They write books, become college professors, are members of the media, engage in social activism and continue to influence others on how to carry the Victimhood virus.

     The uniform might change but the inner conflict will be the same for all victims. Some victims might wrap their illusion in the wardrobe of spirituality or religiosity. They purport to be loving, kind, spiritual and even open minded but these are just smokescreens to cover up their own delusion about how they come to see the world. Don't be fooled into believing that the person carrying the Victimhood virus might be closer than you might think or disguised as someone else.

    Victims are supported and encouraged to fail. Failure is rewarded and accountability is scorned upon. They often possess a fear of success and an addiction to failure. Personal choice is non-existent and blame is the common language spoken among victims.

    There are certain areas of life that become magnets for the Victimhood virus. Prisons are one of those arenas of life where the Victimhood virus runs rampant and infects the vast majority of inhabitants. You rarely would hear a prisoner admit that he is responsible and accountable for his crime. It is mostly blame and pointing fingers at others. Unchecked, the virus is free to grow and will continue to infect many others who come in contact with it.

    Victims tend to gather together either at a rally, protest, march, or other activist events. They are seldom able to sit at home with their journal and reflect on why they are so angry and disturbed about events outside of themselves. Instead they deflect their own inner conflicts and project them outward. Victims will also vote together as a voting block, work together and vacation together. They form their own societies where they use blame and finger pointing as the fuel that motivates them.

     In the world of conscious thinking, there are 4 levels of consciousness. Those levels are as follows from bottom to top: unconscious unconsciousness, conscious unconsciousness, conscious consciousness, and unconscious consciousness. Victims remain trapped in the absolute lowest level of consciousness. In other words, while someone at the top level is acutely aware of his thoughts and feelings, the person at the bottom (victims included) are not even aware of why they are so reactive.

     A victim wishes to control and dominate others as they feed off each other like a maggot devouring scraps. They try to enroll you in their disease and cancel you when you resist. They are at the center of the "woke culture" and rule by mob mentality. They project outward their inner conflicts while frequently acting out. Every day is a new temper tantrum as they label others, do not listen well while becoming loud and unruly as they talk over others. They are the internet's thriving "troll" community. They will silence the opposition at all costs as they cannot deal with dissent. It is either "their way or the highway." The First Amendment means to them that they are allowed "free speech" but no one else is afforded such luxuries.

    Victims are not critical thinkers and do not understand cause and effect. For instance, a victim will place a jar full of cookies on the kitchen counter and tell their young child not to eat them. He will also tell the child that there will be no consequences or punishments if the child does eat the cookies. When the parent returns and finds the cookies all gone he cannot believe what has happened. He does not hold the child responsible and claims that it must have been a misunderstanding.

     Victims have a hard time facing the truth so they often disguise it by changing its name. For instance, a neighborhood is besieged by a large group of wild coyotes that are attacking cats and dogs while threatening children playing at the local park. The local authorities issue a permit to hunters to track down and kill the coyotes. Someone with common sense would call this the "kill the coyotes campaign." A victim could never be that honest so he will label it as a "campaign to restore the natural habitat." Over and over we have seen how the virus of Victimhood causes one to not accept the truth in matters and hence a victim will always try to deflect its reality.

    Victims want special privileges but they will then deny you from the same privileges. If you let them have a little they will keep taking and taking. For instance, several decades back lawmakers wanted to help the small number of handicapped people who would benefit from a special parking pass so that they could park closer to their destination. This is one of the most blatant abuses of Victimhood. Now you can witness almost anyone who has a broken toe nail to a sun burn with a handicapped parking pass. That is how widespread the Victimhood virus has become.

     Victims like to practice revisionist history by attacking others' symbols that make them uncomfortable. They are not willing to examine their own symbols and history and become defensive when someone else does so. They hang on to selective points of history and ignore other prominent points that they do not want to hear about. They are willing to ignore their own history at all costs.

     For instance, a recent debate erupted whether or not we should still be honoring Christopher Columbus on Columbus Day. Some Native American groups pointed out that Columbus had owned slaves. While this might be true these same groups fail to acknowledge that throughout history Native Americans too owned slaves. Should Native American holidays and celebrations be cancelled as well?

     Victims do not like to hear the word "No". They have weak boundaries and will not say "No" to other victims either. Here you have a situation where the inmates begin to rule the mental institution. This is the beginning of the destruction of families, neighborhoods, schools districts, public institutions and countries all because the rule of law has become eroded.  

     For a victim "unity" means doing things their way. They control the narrative and call it "coming together". As long as they are in charge they want unity. When someone else is in charge they are in a state of resistance and denial. This refers back to how a victim will continue to change language to fit his own needs.

    A victim might find it difficult to stop being a victim. As long as he continues to surround himself with other victims and victim ideology he will continue to reinforce his victim identity. His groups, media outlets and family members who practice victim behavior will continue to reinforce his victim stance.

     Victims believe that they are the only ones who hold absolute truth in matters and that everyone else is telling a lie. Victims will frequently jump to conclusions with little or no facts to back up their claims. They will frequently use the excuse "there is no evidence" to counter their argument. Of course if you believe that you are always right then why would you even begin to look for any contraindicative evidence that destroys your story?

    Victims frequently blame the system for their own failures. When someone else claims success they will shout out that those others have privilege. The reality  is that victims use the excuse that their own sabotage and failure is the result of someone else's advantages and privilege. Somehow my ability to lose fifty pounds in weight is responsible for someone else's inability to lose any weight.  

     Victims are sore losers. They do not know how to graciously walk away from defeat. They wish to blame others or the system for their loss. They are even worse when they win. As a winner they become vindictive and wish to punish the other side in retribution. It is as if they want to make someone else hurt just as much as they have been hurting. A victim is hurting so much inside that they try to make others hurt as well. They project outward their inner conflicts by hurting others. This somehow makes them feel better.

     Victimhood stems from a deep seated sense of insecurity and victims are highly sensitive to criticism and dissent. Victims do not necessarily know what they think or feel but operate from a survival mentality. They attack at will and defend their beliefs and territory aggressively. This is no different than a trapped animal that is now aggressive and feels provoked.

     Victims operate at a very low level of existence. When communicating with a victim you have to go down to their level. This is like a college math professor trying to teach math to a six year old. There is a giant gap in understanding. The six year old cannot jump up to the college professors level so the college professor must go down to the six year old in order to communicate. The same holds true when communicating with a victim. You must go to their level if you wish to have a conversation with them. This is a very primitive level. Do not challenge them. Do more listening than speaking. Repeat back what they have said. If you do not do this then you (hopefully the non-victim) will enter into their reptilian world of shouting and blaming.

     A victim is one who lashes out at you because of the type of music you listen to or the candidate you voted for in a political election. Their own unprocessed wounds remain hidden to them so it is much easier to project those conflicts outward. This happens on an individual scale and on a masse scale. Most political protests have nothing to do with what you think they are about. Victims who rally together all have unprocessed internal conflicts and project those conflicts outward onto a single focal point. The inability to process our emotions and be quiet enough to listen to our inner voice creates a dumping ground for internal chaos.  

     The sad truth in the matter is this. Victims will read this article and not even know that it is about them. They will be thinking that I must be referring to someone else entirely. The many people who have the Victimhood virus probably do not even know it. They are the ones who would benefit the most from this article yet they will not be able to hear one word written here. Their own wayward emotional reality will trick them into believing that I must be talking about someone else. I certainly could not be talking about them. A victim will never admit that they are a victim and will staunchly defend their denial of being a victim.

How to Identify a Victim

     Keys to finding the people carrying the Victimhood virus:

         1. Always blaming others

          2. Will not listen to other opinions

         3. Always interrupts

          4. Always trying to change the rules when things do not work out for them

          5. Raises their voice to interrupt you

         6. Deflecting away from personal choice (i.e. it was the alcohol that made me drink)

         7. Will label others without any proof (racist, bigot etc.)

          8. Unwilling to examine other sources

          9. Resort to violence and threats when confronted

          10. Poor communication skills

           12. Use deceitful language to cover up original intent (i.e. "unity" means I am in charge and you must follow my rules)

         13. Hides behind a smokescreen (educational degree, fancy clothing, social status, group identity, profession)

         14. Vindictive: never satisfied until they hurt you or you submit to them

Solutions

     There is no antidote or vaccine for this deadly virus called Victimhood. There are some tools that you can begin to practice to come out of Victimhood and shed away this ugly societal virus.

     1. Use "I" statements  (i.e. I chose to quit my job)

    2. Make yourself and others accountable

     3. Stop supporting other victims  (i.e. Stop buying alcohol for your alcoholic son)

     4. Stop supporting victim institutions and causes

     5. Learn to listen to many different opinions

     6. Have an open mind

     7. Ignore people who sabotage their lives

     8. Listen more than talk

     9. Learn to say "No"

    10. Don't go down to the level of a victim as honest communication is impossible

     11. Teach children to be accountable

     12. Don't try to change or convince a victim of anything; they cannot hear anything else but their own rhetoric

     13. Have compassion for victims. In most cases they do not even realize how disturbed and distorted their thinking is.

     The purpose of this article is not to attack or to blame but to shed light on a mental health issue that pervades all throughout our society. Coming to grips with Victimhood and ceasing to pass it on to the next generation is just as important as curing AIDS, SARS or Covid-19. Mental health and society at large will only benefit when we can erase this dreaded virus. Nobody can cure this pervasive disease for you. Each individual will have to find the courage himself to walk across a bridge of self-discovery into a newer and better world. That is the world of inner peace and accountability.