Un-intellectual Property

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        Lawyers need jobs. The courts need cases to oversee. And tech giants need something to spend their millions in revenue on. Enter the patent. Now enter
        You probably don’t know much about the patent wars going on between Microsoft, Google, Apple, Yahoo, Motorola, Samsung, and all those other guys. You probably don’t know because no one except the lawyers and countless courts of justice really do.
        Here’s the general plot: Apple sues Samsung because their phones look alike. Samsungs came out second so of course it copied Apple! That infringed on Apple’s intellectual property (patent filings) and so Apple sued Samsung.     And then, feeling all big and mighty, Apple decides to sue Google because Google copied it’s operating system! And then, next thing you know, Microsoft is suing Apple, Google, and Samsung; and then Apple is suing Microsoft, Google, and Samsung; and then Samsung is suing Google Apple, and Microsoft. And, of course, Motorola, feeling left out, finds something it thinks Samsung, Apple, Microsoft, and Google are infringing on and then sues all of them.
        And the patents that these companies are suing over are minute details. Apple sued Google for using a slide-to-unlock feature on Android. There went a hundred million. Apple sued Samsung for making their phone look the same. There went another hundred million. Motorola sued Google for using a “reply” email feature. There went another hundred million. Google sued Apple for having a mapping feature. There went another hundred million. Sure, maybe the technology behind it is patented and what not but there’s always a loop hole and it’s not like Samsung isn’t cloning the iPhone.
        It’s just one big mess of patent wars that have traveled the country from state court to state court, from federal court to supreme court and to every court but the tennis court. One judge sides with Apple against Samsung, so then Samsung goes and files an appeal all while already suing Apple over something else anyway.
        Apple then files to halt imports of Sammy’s phones and tablets into the United States, England, Germany, Australia, anyplace it can think of. Samsung appeals and the injunction is overturned and import can resume. Then Apple gets all red and steamy and goes and files for another one. Samsung in turn files again. Then Google decides that it wants to file an injunction too and then of course Motorola sticks its nose into the fight.
        And now here’s the reason you don’t know about any of this: it doesn’t matter at all.
       It really doesn’t. None of this affects anything about how you use your Apple, Samsung, Google, Motorola, or Microsoft products. None of it affects your life. The government can’t come to your house and demand that you turn over your iPhone because Apple lost a patent suit. No. Apple has to deal with it themselves.
       And dealing with it isn’t something that any of these companies are good at. When Apple launched the iPhone back in 2007, they technically weren’t supposed to use the iPhone name. The term “iPhone” was trademarked by someone else. But that didn’t deter them from doing so. They’d just hire a team of lawyers and fight it out in court later. The same thing happened with the iPad. “iPad” was trademarked by someone else, standing for something else. Apple used it anyway and ended up in court later on.
       But going to court for these big guys is like being sent to the principal’s office in elementary school. What’s the worst that could happen? Apple has to pay a few million in fines? Big deal. Their lawyers’ fees probably cost more than that. And besides, you know those billions of dollars in revenue that they rake in every quarter? That will cover it, no sweat.
       It’s the same story with Samsung, Microsoft, Motorola, and Google. These companies have billions of dollars. They can spend a few hundred million fighting a lawsuit. That’s petty cash. Courtrooms are like casinos for them. You gamble on a lawsuit. You might win a few million back, you might lose some more. At the end of the day, you just go home and shrug it off.
       That’s disgusting.
        These companies have all that cash to throw away on lawyers? That must mean they’re overcharging for their products. It’s either that or they’re printing their own money. I don’t have a problem with people going to court over trivial stuff.
       And in the end, competition is good. If Android hadn’t been invented, if Samsung and Motorola hadn’t started making phones to compete with the iPhone, the iPhone wouldn’t be nearly what it is today. Sometimes I think that technology is moving too fast for us to keep up. But then I imagine what it would be like if it never advanced at all.
       And, I’m sorry, but other people having a slightly similar slide to unlock mechanism is not a huge deal.