They Think They Know Me
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by Frank Shortt
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As most senior citizens grow older, those around them begin to think they know all their moves. They think we have become creatures
My family thinks that I get up at 6 a.m. every morning! I'll have them know that I sometimes wake up at a quarter to six,
and sometimes a little after six. They think that I have a certain routine each morning for my ablutions; visiting the restroom first
and washing my face, getting dressed next, going to the computer to check my emails, then going downstairs to have a snack to take
my meds. I'll have them know that sometimes I change these things around a little, but not much, since I would probably forget to
do one of these things if I changed it around too much.
My wife thinks that I go for the same walk at the same time each morning.
She thinks I go to McDonalds for decaf coffee (one cream, one sugar) and maybe a breakfast burrito each day. I'll have her know that
I even get a shot of hazelnut in my decaf coffee sometimes. And sometimes I have a sausage biscuit with scrambled egg! (But not too
often)! Regular coffee tends to cause me to want to climb the walls, and I warn the ladies at McDonalds to make sure they give me
decaf, unless of course, they would like to scrape me off the ceiling! After that small snack and small coffee, I then return home,
varying the route, for more ablutions!
After ablutions, I finish my morning walk meeting neighbors along the way who sometimes give
me stories to write in the local newspaper. I found out that one second grader was watching me very closely each morning as I usually,
but not always, pass by their house as I finish my walk. She wrote, "Frank, you are an amazing guy! You're missing out a few things!
To begin with, you cleaned up the huge mess in front of our house on the curb. (Left by some guy who was kicked out of his house)
You didn't make the mess, nor did someone help you clean up!" (In truth, there was a man who volunteered to help me clean up the mess!)
She goes on, "Frank, you're friendly! When my family drives into the complex, you always wave at us and sometimes start a friendly
chat. You have to admit, that is a good way to spread happiness. Another time you wrote a newsletter about our friend, Anvi, when
she protested against closing down the local elementary school. That is amazing! So far, did you know you were this great? Well, there's
more! I heard from my mom that you helped some guy quit drugs and you also go to help a local school. Plus, you donate to a charity!
I can't believe you do all this! Wow! I have to tell you, I'm speechless! I can't imagine what you'll do next! Maybe you'll create
a company, or make pastries, or have a cookie sale. Whatever it is, I am sure the neighborhood will love it. Maybe not just the neighborhood,
but we could spread the word so the whole city would know more about this awesome Frank!! (I couldn't help but add two exclamation
marks) Also, please cherish this book through all the years. From when you were a little student to now, I know you have been a star
person through all the years!" (I am not worthy of such praise, as I make lots of mistakes through the day that this, overly bright,
second grader does not see, but just wanted to make the point that we, as grown-ups, better watch our steps as we are being watched
closely as examples for the young. On this point, I also want to say, I have much help in accomplishing what I have done, or will
do! My wife! Who does not know half of what I do as she is still sleeping when most of this happens!
Most of my family thinks I am
in bed by 9 p.m.! I'll have them know, that sometimes, I stay up until 10 p.m. (Just to keep the record straight!) By the way, my
wife also thinks that I take a nap each day at 1:30 p.m. She doesn't know that I sometimes stay up until at least 2:30! When I take
a longer nap that is when I stay up a little later at night! Why do folks have to keep us under a microscope as we get older?
older, we tend to want to eat just about the same things each day. Most of us like bran cereal and fruit for breakfast to keep us
regular! We tend to like soup and sandwiches for lunch, and then a light dinner to prevent acid reflux in the night. Just to set the
record straight, I like having donuts at least once a week for breakfast, before hitting the garage-sale trail. I like having Mexican
food for lunch, at least once a week, and sometimes an occasional In/and/Out burger! Dinner is usually the one that requires a lot
of thought. Meat, bread, pasta, and such are out of the question as they are hard to digest and bread and pasta turn to sugar while
digesting! It is when we elderly veer from our set routine that causes the family to get in an uproar. So, come on you other elderly,
let us show the family that they don't know us as much about us as they think they do! We should keep them guessing!