Millions of Americans are looking for work. This has to stop. Since our government can't seem to solve the unemployment problem, I submit five jobs that should be created. And I nominate Costco to do it.
1. In Costco there is a big cold room where they have milk and eggs. I notice that everyone who buys a carton of eggs opens the box to make sure none are cracked. This causes a backup and customers to freeze while they wait their turn. Costco should hire Egg Carton Inspectors. These ECI would stand in the cold room and open the carton for the customer to see that none of the eggs are cracked. The ECI gets a break every ten minutes to warm up. The relief ECI would be the FSL (Food Sample Lady) who usually hands out pizza,
2. Also at Costco, they should hire a bunch of people to create Costco apps. One would be a map app on you phone or pad that shows where everything is. They seem to enjoy moving things around at Costco. The soup used to be in the aisle next to the pasta. Now it is over by the coffee. You could type in your item and the app map would direct you to the proper aisle. Next would be a food sample app. It would show each sample table, what it has and what time it opens and closes. The last app would be a "it won't be here next time" app. Just when you get used to a product, they don't have it the next time you go there. Some are sessional products but most are things that I like all year and hate it when they disappear. So this app would list which items will go away and when.
3. Costco needs to hire twice as many sample people. I suggest this because it seems that every time I get to a table that has something I must have, the lady has just run out and it will be five or ten minutes before the next batch is ready. One person would serve while the other person would slice and dice or cook and plate.
4. When I shop at Costco, it seems that everyone pushing a cart tries to turn into the same aisle at the same time. This causes many embarrassing cart accidents. To avoid this Costco should hire someone to invent a turn signal that attaches to the cart. A button on the cart handle can activate a right or left flashing signal. Hundreds of people will need to be hired to install and maintain the CTS (Cart Turn Signal).
5. Finally, Costco needs to immediately hire thousands of strong men and women to pull up all those entry bumps. I hope your Costco doesn't have them but mine does. When I roll my cart over the bumps the eggs scramble, the milk curdles, the hot dogs almost jump out of their buns. Please, Mr. Costco, pull up those bumps.
Think of all these jobs that Costco could create that would make our shopping experience better. Think of all the new payroll taxes that would be created and think of how the unemployment numbers would go away. Write your congressperson or mayor or, better yet, give this column to the manager of your Costco store. You'll sleep better and America will be a better place.