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by Norm Blackburn
A place for intelligent readers
The Bowl Season
2015 Spectator Ron - The Spectator All Rights Reserved
I’m a big fan of college football. Watching those young guys play for the sport of the
game and the pride of their school thrills me. Okay, maybe some of them play for a spot in the NFL or rent for their folks or for
a few bucks under the Gatorade bucket. But most play for the game. They don’t get fourteen million dollars and then move to another
city for a better deal. College football is unpredictable and fun.
This year there are
about thirty-five college bowls. Thirty-five! Who decided that the post season should have more games than Alaska has oil wells? But
I say, the more the merrier.
But what if the bowl games were played like their names imply?
Here’s what might happen.
New Mexico Bowl – The teams meet at the 50-yard line and exchange
taco recipes, the referee tosses an enchilada and the game begins.
Humanitarian Bowl –
After the teams hug, the first play from scrimmage has the linebacker charging through the line. He approaches the quarterback, reaches
out his hand in a greeting and they walk off the field singing Cum-Bay-Ah.
Bowl – The players sit in the stands and the rival bands strike up “When the Saints come marching in”.
MACCO Bowl – The players drive their cars to the 50 and get them painted for free. The NCAA infractions committee investigates.
Hawaii Bowl – Uniforms are Speedos under grass skirts. The players exchange leis and everyone has a mai tai. The game ball is a pineapple
and the officials wear go-aheads.
Independence Bowl – Each team stands on their goal line
and puts their hands on their hips. They refuse to play and yell, “Na, Na, Na” at each other.
Military Bowl – Teams march to each other’s bench and salute. They then line up the coaches and make them shine their shoes.
Alamo Bowl – This game is usually tied until the U.S. Cavalry rides in and shoots the loser of the New Mexico Bowl.
Pinstripe Bowl- No kidding this is a real bowl. On December 30 Syracuse plays Kansas State in Yankee Stadium. You guessed it; the
players will wear Brooks Bros. suits and striped ties. Wingtip shoes are optional.
Bowl – Teams feast on chicken and that cow drops from the blimp wearing the “Eat less meat” banner. The head referee is Col. Sanders.
Ticket City Bowl – Apparently Dallas where this contest is played is the designated Ticket
City. However, no one will be in the stands since an Indian tribe has the rights to the game and has refused to print tickets that
are not “scratch and win”.
Outback Bowl – The game will be played in Australia instead
of Tampa and the halftime entertainment will be Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman serve shrimp from their barbe.
The Fiesta, Sugar and Orange Bowls have lots in common. They all get together and whip up a huge salad and serve it at the Fight
Hunger Bowl. However the Gator Bowl mascot is a 3-point favorite to show up and devour the feast.
The Bowl mystery is what the BBVA on January 8 and the BCS Bowl’s initials stand for. Maybe the Bad Boys Versus Anubis Bowl (look
that one up) and the Battling Castanets Sound Bowl. If you know the answer, please tell me.
There are others, but you can find your own reasons for their titles. I’m busy getting ready for the GoDaddy Bowl. Is that a rock