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The Spectator
founded 2004 by ron cruger
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by Ron Cruger
Oh, boy, an "ant-eater" burger!
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       I’ve always wondered how the first cave-man went about discovering that he could eat a wild animal’s liver. The scene must have been ghastly.
       “Um, look-um, we kill-um big animal. Look like one wildebeest thing. We eat legs and other parts too, yum, yum.”
       “Hey, wait a minute “Zongo-brain.” How about we cut open the beest and try the liver for din-din. Me go find an onion and maybe we have liver and onions. We could be first guys in area to have liver-treat. You cut out liver, me get onion.”
       So, ”Zongo-brain” and “Onion- breath” found a new treat for mankind. The first men to bite into an animal’s organ. Nobody makes a fuss over these two guys and they were mankind’s true pioneers. The discovered liver and onions eighteen months before “Zongo-brain’s” cousin “Poop-for-brains” discovered the wheel.
       Millennia have passed since that great dinner time discovery on the plains of Africa and carnivores around the planet still sit down at their dinning room tables and enjoy the unique taste of animal liver and onions.
       And yet, no one remembers the culinary efforts of “Zongo-brain” and “Onion-breath.” Without these two cave men the world would be without the delicacy they founded there on the sweltering savannah. And nowhere in the historical records is there a word of “Zongo-brain” and “Poop-for-brains” washing down the lingering liver taste in their throats with a cool, foamy glass of cave-man lager.
       Since that first organ-based gourmet meal millions have enjoyed the oddish, gagging taste of liver and onions.
       Mankind remains fascinated with the eating of the flesh of animals as well as the organs which are enclosed inside the animals’ water-proof hides.
       It appears that mankind continues to search for the ultimate organ-eating experience.
       Five millennia after the first liver and onion dinner the savannahs of Africa continue to provide humans with new taste thrills.
       An illegal trade in “bushmeats” is growing.
       Paris, France, is evidently the home base for the delivery of “bushmeats.
       A study has fund that more than five tons of “bushmeats” go through the city’s main airport every week.
       “Bushmeat” experts suspect that similar amounts are arriving in other European countries as well.
The smugglers and those who devour the exotic meats are ignoring the potential dangers of consuming these flesh and organ gastronomical treats. There are serious concerns about diseases ranging from monkey pox to Ebola.
       Madam Toukine, an African woman with a shop in Paris, says she receives special deliveries of crocodile and other “bushmeats” each weekend in her shop off the Rue des Pillonieres market. It may be illegal but those who want “bushmeat” know where to get it.
       One airline passenger had 112 pounds of “bushmeat” as his luggage. Five tons of “bushmeat” gets into Paris each week.
       Experts have found shipments of eleven types of “bushmeat” recently. They include apes, monkeys, large rats, crocodiles, small antelopes and anteaters.
       And so, the search for the ultimate dining experience continues.
       Modern day “Zongo-brains” and “Poop-for-brains” are still at it.
       Baboons and sloths better beware