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The Spectator
founded 2004 by ron cruger
A place for intelligent writers
A place for intelligent readers
 by Ron Cruger
Needed: New words
2007 Spectator Ron - The Spectator All Rights Reserved
           I feel sorry for kids today. Everything is organized for them. They can’t be alone thanks to mom calling them on their ever- present cell phone, checking on them. If they’re in Little League they’re completely outfitted and look like miniature Big Leaguers. They’ve learned to spit, scratch and rub like adults. They play on well-manicured fields, surrounded by fathers, mothers and grandparents. Young girls going to school dress alike and must have two inches of their bellies showing. Young boys are uniformed with their baggy pants slung low on their hips and their baseball caps sitting on their heads sideways or backwards. 
          Kids today don’t know what anticipation is. They are instantly gratified. If they like a song and want to hear it they can just plug their I-Pod into their ears and hear it. 
          If they don’t want to see a commercial on television they just zap it and it’s gone. If they’re too busy to watch MTV right now they can press a button and Tivo it and watch it later. 
          Kids today get cars at a younger age. They can afford to buy gas, go on dates, purchase snacks and junk food and have stylish clothes far more than their predecessors.
          Kids know more about more things than ever before. They’re gaining knowledge about things that their elders hadn’t dreamed of and their knowledge is expanding exponentially every day. 
          Kids today know about drugs and fatty foods and sex at early ages. 
          These kids don’t get to play in lots or open fields and feel the freedom that comes with being with your friends – without their parents watching them. 
          They learn about life from MTV, Howard Stern and dozens of sitcoms on cable TV that use language that makes their elders blush. The kids are used to the dirty words – they’ve been hearing them all of their lives. In fact, the dirty words of times past are no longer dirty. These kids have heard them so much, and use them so much themselves, that they’ve become part of their everyday vocabulary. I think the dirty words that we all know have become boring. Listen to the kids and every sentence is sprinkled with four letter words. They’ve become over-used nouns, pronouns, adjectives and adverbs. 
           Standing in line at the neighborhood convenience store I heard a young boy, maybe 15 years old, talking to his schoolmate. “What the @#$%, I asked my father for fifty %$#@ing bucks. I need some new #$#@ing tennis shoes, mine are $%#@ing dirty. @#$% oh, dear, I can’t wear these @#$%ing things to my g$#@ d#$% class.” 
           This kid wasn’t really swearing. He was just using old fashioned dirty words for emphasis. The adults in the store jerked their heads around when they heard the youth’s language. I don’t think the kid realized that he was saying something objectionable to adults. He was just using the words that he’s heard on television, Howard Stern and cable. 
           I think the time has come for a new set of dirty words. The ones in use today have become routine, dull and bland. We need a new set of dirty words that will be used less frequently, but when they are used they will shock and startle those hearing them. 
           Let’s give the current set of dirty words to the kids to use whenever they want. These words are already part of these kids’ everyday usage. They’re almost not dirty anymore. If we can hear them on television and radio how bad can they be? The shock value of these old-fashioned dirty words is gone.   These kids are part of the HBO generation. 
           Times change and so should our dirty words! 
            I propose that we gather a group of creative scholars: football players, baseball players, construction workers, pro-wrestlers, “Wise guys” and ex-cons and give them a couple of years to create a new vocabulary of dirty words. 
           We desperately need words that we can substitute for male body parts, female body parts, sexual union, bodily functions, unique body positions, unconventional behavior, incredible acts, after death locations, status of birth and relative intelligence. 
            These new words would be used sparingly so that they wouldn’t lose their effectiveness too soon. At least not until the next generation started using them in their every day conversations. 
           So, until we come up with this set of new dirty words let’s use the old ones – but not in front of kids, women – or me!