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 by Ron Cruger
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More things I'd like to hear them say
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Bill Gates – “I’d trade it all to be better looking.” 
 
Sigmund Freud – "I can't help it, sometimes I just get horny"
 
Hillary Rodham Clinton – "Chew on this, Monica!""
 
Elvis Presley – "I think I hurt my hip."
 
Madonna – “Actually, I don’t like sex.”
 
Al Gore – “Yes. I invented global warning and I also invented the Internet.” 
 
Charles Lindbergh – “Everybody asks me the same question. No, there wasn’t a restroom on the plane. Yes, I held it. Yes, I got a splitting headache.” 
 
Bob Dylan – "I can't stand to listen to myself sing either." 
 
J. Edgar Hoover – "Someone gave me a friggin' dress for Christmas."
 
Napoleon Bonaparte – "Stop with the short jokes already."
 
Dr. Laura Schlesinger – “Why do you think I’m only on the radio, not TV. Take a look.” 
 
Dr. Henry Kissinger – “Vat der hell you mean you can’t understand vat I’m zaying!” 
 
O.J. Simpson – "Yes, yes, yes and yes.  It was me."
 
Oprah Winfrey – “Diet, schmiet, gimme that donut.”