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by Ron Cruger
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2007 Spectator Ron - The Spectator All Rights Reserved
Over the weekend I watched Tiger Woods win his 13th major golf tournament, the PGA Championship. Then I watched the world’s
greatest tennis player, Roger Federer, play in the finals of the Rogers Cup tennis tournament (Roger lost but was magnificent in defeat).
Watching (on TV) these two great athletes I started fantasizing about how it would feel to be that great, that dominant, that good
at what I do.
As long as I was fantasizing I decided to go all the way.
Here are my fantasies for a Sunday afternoon.
I want to play a round of
golf at Augusta National, site of the Master’s Tournament. I want to be paired with Tiger Woods and I want to shoot a 5 under par
and beat Tiger by 2 strokes.
I want to play one set against Roger Federer
and beat him 6-2.
I want to have one at bat against New York Yankee Hall
of Fame pitcher, Roger Clements and I want to work the count to 3 and 2 and then I want to powder his nest pitch over the center field
fence. Then I want to give it the “Cadillac Trot” around the bases as the crowd goes wild.
I want to take Payton Manning’s place at quarterback for the Indianapolis Colts for just one play. I’ll take the ball from center,
fade back, find all my receivers covered and I’ll head for the sideline and run 99 yards for a touchdown, straight arming swarms of
angry 275 pound defenders on the way. Also, I’d like to kick the extra point just to show my versatility.
There are other things I dream of doing.
I’d like to be the 13th
man to walk on the moon. I can’t think of many things more exciting than going to bed at night and seeing our “blue marble” on the
horizon. This one may be difficult as I’m afraid of heights and I have claustrophobia.
I want to be the one who plays against the Los Angeles Lakers and sinks a fantastic half court shot in the last minute to win the
game. I want to look down the court and see Kobe Bryant fussing and fuming over the spectacular shot that defeats his team.
I want to put on a dark suit, a classy red tie, shiny black shoes and walk into a meeting with the heads of Israel, Palestine, Iran,
Syria and Jordan. Two hours later I want to walk out of the meeting to a phalanx of TV cameras and microphones and say, “Ladies and
gentlemen of the world, we have just concluded an agreement between these Middle Eastern countries, between Jews and Arabs, that will
bring peace in our time to the area.” Then the presidents of these countries and I will head for a nearby restaurant and have some
matzo ball soup and falafel sandwiches to celebrate the long awaited peace.
I want to open the hood of my car, understand what each black box and wire is. I want to put in new spark plugs, check the timing,
adjust the carburetor and successfully tune the car. Then I want to put the key in the ignition and have the car start without missing
I want my grandson to come to me and say, “Say, grandpa, I have
this extremely difficult calculus problem and I can’t solve it.” I want to answer him, “Sure, sure, let’s see what you have.” I want
to quickly look at the problem and even more quickly give him the answer. I’d say, “Son, this is easy, the answer is f(X) =X3+8X2-3X+5.”
I’d be so proud. Even prouder than I am now if I can figure out a simple fraction problem. Even prouder than when I work on my check
book and it miraculously balances once or twice a year.
I can’t think
of much that would be more fun than sitting in between Carl Reiner and Mel Brooks as they improvise a new “2,000 Year Old Man” sketch.
If I had to have one dream come true it would be that I went to work every day, put on my pure white lab coat and discovered the cure
for cancer. We all know far too many people who have cancer or have died from having cancer. I’d love to be the one to find the cure.
But, if I’m not the one to find the cure, I hope someone else does – and soon. You can have the golf match with Tiger, the victory
over Federer or the home run off Roger Clemens.
Just help make this most
important dream of mine come true – find a cure for cancer.