Featured Column

Week of 12.7.2008

It all happens so quickly

It's always too late

          It all happens so very fast. One minute your parents are there providing for you. Teaching, guiding, sacrificing. You take for granted that they’ll be there the next day and the day after that. Then one day they’re not there. It all happens so quickly.
          You can never be ready for their absence. It seems like they were always there. You were used to them. They got old before your eyes, but you always saw them at a particular age. You didn’t catch on when their hair turned grey. You barely noticed when they gained a few pounds and started wearing eye glasses.
         The years flew by. It was all so swift. You did notice when dad started walking with a slight limp. When his posture wasn’t so erect. When his hair thinned. He complained about his aches and pains, but that wasn’t important to you then – you had your own problems.
          Mom and dad were getting tired at the end of the day. They wanted to sit and rest.
          You were advancing. Your life. Your career. Marriage, children. You knew your parents were getting older, but you were busy. Success, money, friends.
          Then one day they weren’t there. Gone. Suddenly the questions come to mind.
          How did you both feel when you first met? Was it love at first sight? Was it a problem with dad being Irish Catholic and mom being Jewish? What did the family say?
          What did you do on your dates? Were you both madly in love?
          Did you plan for me and my sister? How did you feel when we were born? What kind of parents were you? Were we good babies?
          When did Gram come live with us? Did it bother you when she moved in?
          What did you feel when your parents died? How did you act? Were you close to your brothers and sisters?
          What jobs did dad have? Did you like the jobs? Did mom work? Did Gram baby sit for us?
          Was life easy for you? Did you get along with the rest of the family?
          Did you stay in love with each other? Did your feelings change? Were you always glad you married each other?
          Did you ever consider separating or divorce? What did you like to do on weekends? Were you each other’s best friend?
          Did you like being parents? Did you love us? What changed as you got older? Did you go on vacations? Did you have enough money?
          What thoughts did you have as you aged? Were you fearful about growing older?
           Did you go to the doctor for regular check ups? Dentist?
          Did your dreams come true – the ones you had when you were both young?
          Did you feel that life was good to you?
          What did you feel, mom, when the doctor told you it was cancer? Dad, what did you feel when the doctor said your heart was failing? 
          Did you believe in God?
          I have so many more questions.

      Ron was born in the Bronx, New York. He was raised in Southern California and lived in Honolulu, Hawaii for three decades. He attended Inglewood High School and U.C.L.A.. His youthful goal was to become a major league baseball player. In Hawaii Ron played on a series of championship softball teams. He is an active tennis player.
      Ron’s career began at the Inglewood Daily News where as a youngster was enrolled in a publisher training program. He served as an advertising salesman, circulation manager, writer and layout and design staffer. He has been a newspaper publisher at the Oregon City Oregon Enterprise Courier, the Beloit Wisconsin Daily News, the Elizabeth, New Jersey Daily Journal and This Week Magazines (Hawaii).
      Ron lives with his wife, Marilyn, in San Diego, California. His two children, Douglas and Diane also live in the San Diego area. Ron’s interests range far and wide and are reflected in his columns diverse topics.
     

Ron Cruger