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by Ron Cruger
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Confessions of an Iconoclast
     Okay, here’s the confession. I don’t Twitter and I don’t Facebook.
     Let me tell you why I don’t participate in two of the most popular pastimes on the planet.
     The thought of reaching for a smart phone or sitting down at the computer and typing in one hundred and forty words about what I had for lunch is embarrassing to me. It should also be embarrassing to someone who would send me one hundred and forty words detailing their luncheon menu or what they picked up on their recent shopping trip to Costco. For the life of me I can’t figure out why anyone would want to share such humdrum and bland information with anyone.
     In the same vein I would be embarrassed to participate on Facebook and consider that there were hoards of people out there in cyberspace that would actually be interested in comments on my daily minutia.
I have seen a few Facebook pages and they have consisted of entries similar to, “Had some strong coffee this morning for breakfast. Really got me going. Went to the bathroom four times already.”
     The reply from an obviously idled person read, “Coffee will do that to a person. I went to the bathroom myself three times. LOL.”
     Even if I were to do something I considered of fair interest I can count on one hand (minus three fingers) the amount of people who would (should) be interested in my daily doings. And if I were to do something out of the ordinary, like find a parking spot right in front of the Albertson’s Market how many people that I know would give a hoot?
     It seems that there are hundreds of millions of people residing on planet Earth who are interested in the trivialities of the every day lives of their friends and family.
     Of course there are events in our daily lives that are of import to those close to us and it is well that they are shared with those who are interested, but that circle, is indeed, limited to few. The short list of real friends interested in some trifle of my day can be e-mailed directly and individually, thus sparing the larger list their feigned attention and my further embarrassment. Perhaps those that Twitter and Facebook constantly throughout the hours of the day are attempting (sorrowfully) to expand the list of those that are actually interested in their daily galumph through life.
     I realize that a teen age Twitter-er or Facebook-er devotee feels a strong need to appeal to his or her peers, but the exchanging of information such as, “I woke up this morning with a giant zit on my nose. Damn, damn, damn” will hardly construct a closer relationship with the “zittee” and the members of his or her Twitter list.
     Is it possible that the recipient of the “zit” Twitter will be so “connected” to the sender that a reply such as, “OMG, what a disaster. I hope you have some “zit” cream to put on it. By the way, do I know you?”
     I also find the listing on a Facebook page of all the personal information of a person a giant leap into the sharing of information that should be limited to the very few – close friends and close family. I am searching for the value of writing the intimate and private information of a person to a constant expanding list of readers beneficial. It may be that to have an expanding list of fellow Twitter-ers or Facebook-ers is enough of an ego-boost. To crow and prate that one has 800 “friends” on either page is a brash over-statement of the validity of what constitutes a “friend.” Could more than a handful on the list actually be interested in, “Tonight Jackson (my husband) and I were fooling around, but nothing really happened.”
     Some forlorn soul, number 673 on the list of friends, answered, “LOL, sorry, if something happens later, let me know. I’ll be here.”
     So, we have a world wide society engaged in a competition to see who can gather the most names on a list. Millions are now “connected” to one another, commenting to other friends of the length of their list of friends. “I have 1,200 “friends” how many do you have?”
     Don’t get me wrong, there are some semi- useful benefits resulting from participating in Twitter or Facebook. Such as, “Hey, out there, we went to see the “Groveling Horse Pucky Band’ tonight and it was terrible. Don’t go. The guy next to me threw up. LOL.”
      So, I guess there is a benefit to Twittering. There are 1200 youngsters who now know better than to purchase a ticket to see the “Groveling Horse Pucky Band” in concert. LOL.
     So, count me out Twitter fans and don’t look for me on Facebook. I really don’t have anything that could interest you – LOL.