Featured Column
Week of 9.20.2004
"Al Drekk says..."
Stop the trash talk
           George W., Dick, John, John. I want you guys to listen up. Don’t interrupt me and don’t make any funny faces and don’t roll your eyes. I want the four of you to sit still and hear what I have to say. So, pay attention!
           Most of us Americans are sick and tired of listening to the four of you go all around this wonderful country of ours bad-mouthing each other. Other than a few miserably lonely people who are masquerading as political zealots we are all tired of listening to the four of you give countless, boring speeches on every bit of detritus your hired hands can unearth.
           The four of you have made such a stink about your opposition that regardless of who wins in November we will be saddled with a president, who, according to you guys, pulled strings and faked his way through his exceedingly short, uneventful and apparently non- military military career, achieving his measure of success due only to his being born to a family of wealth and opportunity.
           On the other hand, we could have a president, who, if we’re to believe the other pair, faked getting wounded, faked being a military hero, faked being a leader of men,
is so wishy-washy he can’t decide whether to brush his teeth or not and who would make Neville Chamberlain look like Harry Truman.
            I don’t know if any of you guys know what the “high-road” is, but we’d all like to see you take a hike on it. Clean up your act, guys, and get some class. Stop whining and talk to us as though we had some smarts. Tell us what you’d do to fix the mess in Iraq, clue us in on how you’d handle the gargantuan financial deficit so my grandson won’t be making payments on it in the year 2065. Tell us clearly what you want to do regarding stem cell research. Be up-front about how you’ll handle the Israeli/Palestinian decades-long debacle.
           Will you sit down with that nut-case from North Korea, Kim Jong Il and discuss his nuclear plans or will you just send a fleet of B-52’s and carpet-bomb the joint?
          Tell us exactly how you plan on getting more Americans good jobs. Will you continue the practice of sending jobs overseas? Do you really, really think that the Iraqis can form a police force and an army of their own that won’t look like the Keystone Kops on Crystal Meth? Could you please tell us if you plan on talking to those lying fanatics in Iran about their atomic weapons or do you lean towards dropping a few 2,000 pound humdingers on their heads to make your point. We want to know if our president is going to lead us into another war before we elect you. Report to us now, before the election and tell us whether you will bring our troops home from Iraq even if the killings continue as they have been the past few weeks
           And could the four of you explain to all of us what this “Don’t leave a child behind” program is about. We all want to know how you’re going to protect us from terrorist attacks – really!
            Are you guys getting the idea? We’re smarter than you think we are. Taking your Armani suit jackets off and rolling up your shirtsleeves doesn’t fool us into thinking you’re an average working stiff like us. Most Americans can tell the real stuff from the b.s. What made America as great wasn’t you politicians – it was all those average Joes and Joans out there – working hard, raising families and sticking to a set of old-fashioned values. So, knock-off all the garbage. If you’re honest with us you might get our vote. If you get up on that stage and insult our intelligence you’ll wind up on election night with those half-filled, sagging balloons, your family hugging you and crying, and you’ll be congratulating the other guy for beating you and wishing him good luck.
           And for heaven’s sake stop digging up all the picayunish old trash on the other guy. Vietnam was a long time ago and so was that National Guard episode. Drop it – or I’m going to get my good friend, Al Drekk, the noted gossip columnist and muckraker to release in his syndicated column the real dirt on you guys. Al knows a couple of bits of inside information on both of you that could win or lose the election.
           You can read the whole story in “Al Drekk Digs the Dirt,” but here’s the short version. John Kerry was a thumb-sucker and George W. Bush wet the bed.
           Now, who should we vote for?
      Ron was born in the Bronx, New York. He was raised in Southern California and lived in Honolulu, Hawaii for three decades. He attended Inglewood High School and U.C.L.A.. His youthful goal was to become a major league baseball player. In Hawaii Ron played on a series of championship softball teams. He is an active tennis player.
      Ron’s career began at the Inglewood Daily News where as a youngster was enrolled in a publisher training program. He served as an advertising salesman, circulation manager, writer and layout and design staffer. He has been a newspaper publisher at the Oregon City Oregon Enterprise Courier, the Beloit Wisconsin Daily News, the Elizabeth, New Jersey Daily Journal and This Week Magazines (Hawaii).
      Ron lives with his wife, Marilyn, in San Diego, California. His two children, Douglas and Diane also live in the San Diego area. Ron’s interests range far and wide and are reflected in his columns diverse topics.
Ron Cruger